Finding Time to Relax Without Feeling Guilty

I have been really quite in the pf world this week. Honestly, I just haven’t had the motivation to write about anything. I have been feeling rather gloomy and I didn’t want to spread my gloominess to the rest of the world.

I decided to take some time off during the evening and separate myself from the world on Tuesday and Wednesday. Instead of going to work out, talking to family on the phone, worrying about my personal finance, thinking about future school classes, I took a breather and relaxed! I, also, ate tons of chocolate, bacon, biscuits, and cake this week. 🙂 And I don’t feel bad about it!

Taking some time for yourself is so important and, unfortunately, I am currently FAILING. Here is my confession….

This past year I have failed at relaxing without feeling guilty. Usually when I relaxed, I felt ultra guilty, and ended up not enjoying. I actually felt like this on Sunday during my softball game. While I was playing, I couldn’t wait to leave because I was thinking of everything I had to accomplish. I could be bay sitting or grocery shopping or…..let’s just say the list never ended. There I was, playing under perfectly beautiful weather, and I was anxious about the possibility of maybe baby sitting or going to buy the pan to make Turkey loaf at Bed, Bath, and Beyond. By the way, buying the pan at BBB only took 15 minutes after the game. I have always been the person that takes care of everything for everyone. My parents call me because they need something? There I am figuring it out. My brother needs help with homework during time alone with my husband? There I am helping him with his homework. My mom needs help with work and needs to relax? There I am for an entire week. It’s my duty. Or is it?

I’m tired. Plain out exhausted of taking care of everybody else’s needs before my own and still being called selfish. I admit, I haven’t found the perfect balance between family, friends, husband, work, school, and myself. But I am only 22, and I am allowed to have time to discover myself. After all this is the only time I have for me. The older I get, the more my time will be diverted to grown up things.

I want to relax without feeling guilty.The truth is deep down I am feeling guilty. But I am also really tired. It’s a feeling that I push aside most of the time, but this weekend it slowly crept up to the surface. Which is why I took time to myself this week. It was amazing! I woke up feeling more rested and motivated!

I am going to continue my relaxation tonight and hopefully go back on schedule tomorrow.

Have you taken time to relax lately?

16 responses to “Finding Time to Relax Without Feeling Guilty

  1. Ooooh girl you need to get you time. There is no way you can be of service to anyone else if you are depleted. I know it’s easy to say “don’t feel guilty,” but that’s all I can say. You have every right! Now there are good ways and bad ways to go about it. If for instance you feel overwhelmed and you snap at someone, then it’s not the best way. But if you patiently explain to friends/family/bf that you would love to help them and will get to their needs if possible, but right now you need to take a breather, then I’m sure they would understand. You come first! Always!

    • Thanks for the support. Actually my hubby understands and so do my friends. Honestly, I am trying to find more time for the hubby and I to spend together. My family makes me feel guilty…I love them, but they do.

  2. Take time! You need to make sure you come first so that you can be healthy and able to help others (only when you are able to of course). I’ve had issues with this in the past and I used to just schedule “me time”. This way it was concrete. (or relationship time–I was that weird) I’m sending relaxing non guilty thoughts your way.

    • Thanks for the support! I do agree taking care of yourself must come first. I actually do set time for me and for us. We started having dedicated date nights once a week. It’s only been two weeks and it has helped so much!

  3. I am also Latin, and sometimes I think that whole feeling guilty can be a bit of a cultural thing. My mom always felt guilty for things growing up and same with my grandma. You are way to young to be feeling guilty about living your life!! You NEED that time to relax and unwind to reenergize you for doing work 😉

    • I am glad I am not the only one feeling pressured. Yes, being Hispanic has a huge influence. My parents expect me to take care of them all the time. It’s my duty. And when I don’t, I am selfish for not doing so. It makes me feel like a bad daughter. But I want to live my life. There’s a reason I don’t want kids. I want to be selfish and enjoy me time.

  4. I also have a problem with relaxing but I do find that actually using my vacation days for staycations at home in which I do nothing for a few days, or going away some place relaxing really helps. I think making sure you have some “you” time at least once a day, be it going to yoga class or reading before bed, is so important. But hey I’m also no expert on balance, but I won’t give up trying!

  5. Omg you remind me so much of me!!!! I am at everyone’s mercy all the time. I stress about things while I should be enjoying downtime, and usually everything I was being all panicky over usually took a few minutes. Running errands and all that causes anxiety. I guess I hate seeing long to-do lists, but the reality is that the list will never be completely accomplished because there will always be new tasks.

    I’m glad you took time out for yourself, you really deserve it. It’s not your responsibility to do everything. Trust me, I’m the same way. I have a hard time saying no and I’m a total people pleaser. Just remember that you need to focus on yourself as your #1 priority. =)

    • I’m glad I am not the only people pleaser. Same for me, I am an anxious mess, can’t get rid of it. I don’t drink, so no way to drown my anxiety. And pills don’t help. Usually I just have to do the tasks, in order to feel better.
      I am definitely feeling better ever since I took a couple nights off. Can’t wait for the weekend!

  6. Pingback: Link Love 7/20 | Budget & the Beach·

  7. I rarely take time for myself to relax. Even when I have a day off, I find myself filling it with things to do: groceries, cleaning, laundry, errands. I usually have to take vacations in order to really have time to myself. But even then, I tend to fill it with things to do. I’m the vacationer that likes to sightsee and be active. lol. My bf often tells me not to cram our vacations with too many things to do.

  8. Pingback: Weekly Round Up- July 28 2012 | Savvy Financial Latina·

  9. Pingback: Link Love 7/20 | Budget and the Beach·

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s